At the end of the world
by wrath
Summary: retitled: On this day, mankind faces its own destruction and salvation. Let us witness it through the eyes of those who saw it come to pass first hand. CONCLUDED
1. Aoba: around a cup of coffee

Forword- first of all, thankyou for taking the time to look at this fic.

Secondly, this was origionally just going to be a one shot, hence the chapter that's floating around totaly out of context, but rather than just looking at the final moments of instrumentaly from mearly Maya's pov i began toying with the idea of telling the whole (or at least some) of third impact from the perspective of several of the other charaters.

Chapter 1: Around a cup of coffee

It's times like these a guy can pretend that the logo printed on the side of his issued mug is true. I twirl the cheap, ceramic thing in my hands, trying not to wince at the mug's painful shade of yellow as I read the bold red text;

'_God's in his heaven, all's right with the world.'_

Heh, after all I've seen these last few months, I'd really like to meet the jackass who came up with that particular motto and tell him where to stick it…

As far as I'm concerned, nothing's been right with the world for the last fifteen years (but that's a whole other story) and god must have taken a long look at humanity one day and decided to roll over and go back to sleep.

I sigh and slip my self back into the running conversation. Anyway, it's probably not healthy to contemplate something trying to pass itself off as coffee so deeply… not that any of the things I've seen while working here has done my state of mental health any favours in the first place.

"All access to _and _from head quarters has been restricted?" Ibuki looks as though someone just shoved a toster under her nose and asked her to reconstruct the MAGI's main-frame from it. She's frozen up completely at whatever bombshell Makoto just dropped into the conversation and forgotten all about the biscuit she's left dangling in her own plastic flavoured beverage. Makoto just shrugs, pushing those glasses of his back up his nose.

"We're on first level alert." Jeeze, what a casual observation, the guy may as well have just stated something like 'it's raining today'.

Maya sits back in her chair, brows creased.

"But that doesn't make any sense, I though Kaworu was the last angel…"

She's right, it doesn't make any sense. Last time I checked there were going to be seventeen angels and, unless my maths has really gone downhill, the evas beat the living crap out of one to seventeen. There's no reason for us to be here… yet here we are, still sitting round a bunch of computers (that probably cost more money than the three of us combined will ever see in our life-times) making small talk and pen pushing.

"He was." I add. "All the angels have been defeated."

"So," It's Makoto's turn to creak back into his seat as he leans back, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "If we're all safe, what are we doing on first level alert?" He looks back and forth between Maya and me but neither of us can say anything. Hell, we've all been brain storming over why we're standing by for an attack when there's nothing left to launch it ever since the 'guys up-stairs' issued the order two hours ago. You'd think that being in the position we are, they may have dropped us a hint…

Ibuki finally breaks the silence. Good thing to, I'm going to drive myself nuts trying to work out the logic behind this if I think about it for much longer.

"What's going to happen to NERV and the evas?"

Ah, so someone finally popped pressing question number two. Sure, I knew from the start this wasn't going to be a permanent position but I never actually realised that one day us, NERV and even the evas themselves were going to be put out of business. Even though tomorrow was bound to bring a whole load of fresh shit, I'd always taken it for granted.

And now it's finally gone… Somehow this sudden break and uncertainty that been dumped in the routine that's my life seems more scary than the though of getting blown up by a giant cube. Of course, I probably wouldn't be saying that if an angel decided to barraged through the wall right now…

Ibuki sighs.

"I wish Dr. Akagi was here…" She goes to lift her forgotten biscuit of the pool of grey coffee but the damn things so sodden it just slops back in. The girl just degectaly watches it as it sinks and dissolves.

God, this is depresing...

Don't worry, she's beenmoping aroundlike this even since they hauled the 'good doctor' away, but I just don't get why she's so hung up over it. I mean, from what's been going around it sound like the grand high slave driver completely flipped out and went all nutso on the dummy plug system. Of course, the official version isn't as colourful, all they told us was that she 'did something to compromise the running of NERV' but then, I don't think we've ever got a full story out of them.

Makoto peers over the rim of his mug as I clear my throat.

"Well I think that NERV's just going to be disbanded and I don't even want to think about what they're going to do to us…"

Makoto nods. He's already on the same wave line as me. Just like me, he's more than aware of the fact that the three of us in particular know a hell of a lot about the technology running this place…technology people would kill to get their hands on.

"All we can do is wait and see…"

8 8 8

Makoto lent back in his chair once again and all too quickly, silence fell over the colossal room. The only thing that broke the quiet was the monotonous ticking of the main system's clock display, each digital click bringing whatever it was that was coming to NERV a second nearer.

A/N: I must appologies for any spellings you may have come across. The spell checker and I do get most of them, but the occational one will slip throgh. I'm going to try and include the pov's of Asuka, Ritsuko, the MAGI (though, i'm not sure if that's really going to work), Rei, Gendo and prehapse Yui (but that's another one i'm not to sure of). If anyone has any suggestions of other charaters then that would be appreciated.

Thanks once again. Any C&C would be hugely appreciated.


	2. A guard: And then all hell broke lose

Chapter 2: And then all hell broke lose

You know, I've always considered myself to be a truthful kind a guy. Ya see, some people, they say 'ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies'. Well, you rest assured, you don't need to worry your pretty little head over whether or not what just came out of my mouth is going to cause my nose to grow an inch or two.

It's bound to be one hundred percent genuine fact…

Who am I, I hear you asking? Oh, that's another thing that shouldn't worry you. I'm nobody.

Well, obviously I'm _somebody_. I have something that resembles a family, a car, a home and a mortgage to boot, but here… Well, as much as I hate to admit it (though I'll be the first one to, you can be sure of that) I'm no one special when it boils down to it…and as I said, I'm not the kind of guy who's kid myself into thinking I am. Ha, I hardly even know what's going on here myself.

And just where is here, you ask once more.

Why, here is NERV, the single largest, most high-tec and expensive military body in the whole of Japan, maybe even the world…

…It also happens to be the most hushed up as well. I mean you'd think with me working here and all, I might just have some idea as to what the hell's going on in this place, right?

Wrong.

All I know is that they've told me to stand guard at this particularly faceless entrance for the next X hours with this here rifle and to call in if anything… out of sorts happens.

End quote.

Now, I may not be in the know like those Doctors and commanders and, above all things, children you see strutting around this base _knowing_ that they're someboides, essential cogs in this piece of well oiled machinery if you will, but these ears do pick up on things.

Things like the tone of the voice that issued that particular order. Now normally, these guys on the other end of the communicators sound like a bunch of robots unless there's something seriously nasty going down (and trust me, over the last couple of months I've spent as a member of NERV's security unit I've learnt that it takes something **SERIOUSLY **nasty to rattle these guys) but today, they were on edge. It wasn't obvious, but anyone would have been able to hear what lay beneath the calm and authorities tone they're always trying to churn out like their live depend on it (come to think of it, they probably do. I mean, if I heard one of them openly panic I'd probably thing the apocalypse or something was coming straight at us).

Fear and uncertainty.

There was just a hint of it, but that's all it takes to know there's something bad in the air with these guys. Very bad.

And just what is this looming prospect that got them all so on edge, so up in arms you cry. Well, I'm almost in the same degree as dark as you, my friend. In short, I don't have a hint clue… Don't look so puzzled, I mean, I did tell you about the fact that anyone asides from the commander's inner circle is just about as ignorant as you are when it comes to what's really going on in this place, didn't I?

You must think that's kind of funny. I mean, how am I going to know what it is I'm trying to stop coming bursting in through this here door behind me?

Well, there are the rumours and I'm going to be totally honest with you, they scare me even more than the thought all's not right with the head honchos…

See, our captains and what not, they've been clued in for once, and it doesn't take to much for a tongue to slip and dish out some real juicy info.

Only this info's enough to make my heart stop dead mid beat.

According to a string of rumours that are blazing through this base faster than a bush-fire, the U.N's deployed it finest to come and shut NERV down. For good.

Now, you can probably imagine that that's quite a scary prospect… I mean, the thought of a small army winging its way here on chopper's blades with guns prone and ready for a bit of good, old fashioned slaughter is enough to make anyone feel a little like dropping everything and running a blue mile.

Now, my friend, before you ask just what have we at NERV been up to for the rest of the world to want to wipe us clean off the map, I'm going to have to feed you an old line;

I don't know, and the last time I checked, we were the guys saving the world.

Oh well, it probably just is a rumour that's grown a little to big for its breeches, if you know what I mean. Something's _is _on its way, but it can't be as big as that…

Right?

…

…?

What's that noi- GAH!

8 8 8

The knife noiselessly slipped in and out, slicked by the guard's free flowing blood as a black clad hand drove it into his unsuspecting back. He was barely aware of the soft moan of the doors behind him as they slowly rolled up while he sunk to the floor in a limp, lifeless heap of limbs that were slowly forgetting how to function.

There was what seemed like such a distant, far-away clack of cold metal on metal, followed by a fading murmur of foot fall but that was it for him. The guard let his final breath of air go, helpless to stop himself from drifting off into the beckoning darkness.

His eyes had already glazed over as the army of shadows rolled in.


	3. Asuka, part 1: To rise

Chapter 3, pt 1:To rise 

If you chose to take your eyes from the chaos and small-scale war raging above the geo-front's lake by taking a moment to peer into its crystal blood depths, you may be able to make out something totally out of place; a great mass of hulking red curled up like some slumbering dragon on the lake's bed. Lying so still, it's almost impossible to believe that this dormant behemoth is the fabled evangelion unit 02, a creature born of forbidden science and, in its short life time, has spilt enough blood to dye its metallic coat crimson a thousand times over.

The still, glassy surface of the lake is suddenly shattered and the image of the evangelion splinters as a volley of missiles crash through the water's surface in a spray of white. Noiselessly, they sink like stones, slowly bearing down on the inactive mecha…

8 8 8

"I'm still alive?"

Yeah, I'm still asking myself that same old question. Come to think of it, I've been asking myself that ever since I woke up to being bundled into my plug-suit by a bunch of mindless nurses and chucked in here.

And here was I thinking they couldn't make me sink any lower… Ha, how for you've fallen, Asuka Langly Sohryu. To think, you probably would have killed to get in this thing and show the world that you were its undeniable master, that you were peerless and nobody, not even wonder girl or that stupid Ikari kid could show you up.

And now? This…this thing's become nothing more than a testament to what an utter failure you've sunk to. Look, you can't even get it to twitch, let alone pull off half the stunts you'd use to without blinking an eye.

How pathetic.

Why am I still alive, that's the real question I should be asking? Who needs a pilot that can't make her Eva budge even an inch…

8 8 8

This red-haired girl sighs, sinking further in to the nest of crossed arms and the bitter world of her sour thoughts. She almost misses the soft chunk of metal against her Eva's skull, but there was no way in hell that she could ignore the roar that flooded the plug as the mine ripped itself apart on impact.

8 8 8

W-what the hell was that? I crane my neck to look up but the outside world's cut off from me by the shell of metal that's my plug. Oh yes, I'd forgotten… my sync-rations fallen so miserably low that I can't even see what's beyond the confides of this glorified prison.

I'm a sitting duck for whatever's out there and I can't do anything more than wait for it to finish me off…

But I don't want to die.

8 8 8

Those words being to race across the girl's lips as the depth charges continue to fall, drowning out her quite plea for life as they explode, hammering mercilessly on the sides of her Eva with red hot fists. Each one wracks the great metallic beast's form, sending shock waves rattling through.

In the plug, the girl continues her frantic begging. Despite deeming her self as less than worthless, she still wants to cling to the half-life she's become so used to leading over the last couple of days. Even that's got to be better than death.

"I don't want to die."

Below the sound of the thudding explosions, something else begins to whisper along with her. At first the girl doesn't hear, for she's too busy holding her tortured head between her hands in a feeble attempt to block out the sound of her immanent, booming destruction.

8 8 8

"I don't want to die"

No, not like this, this is just- this is worse than pathetic.

_You're still alive…._

"I don't want to die"

I've done so much, things people couldn't even _dream_ of accomplishing.

_I won't let you die…_

"I don't want to die."

I can't go out like this.

_You must live_

"I don't want to die."

Not like this, alone and cowering in the dark.

_Stay with me_

"I **don't **want to die."

W-what's that noise? I can barely hear it…but it sounds like there's someone talking to me…someone I know?

_I will protect you…_

"I **don't **want to die!"

Is it the Eva? No, it's… it's…

_I won't let you die_

"**I DON'T WANT TO DIE!**"

Mama!

_I promise._

Suddenly, the smooth walls holding me disintegrate into nothing. The heavy LCL's gone, replaced by the cleanest air I've ever breathed in my entire life. I'm no longer in the dark, cramped hold of the plug but outside in a place I've never seen before. God, where ever it is, it's so wonderfully bright and…and there's someone here with me. I raise a hand over my eyes in an attempt to try and filter some of the near blinding light out of them, yet even though they're only a meter away, I can barley make the figure out against the white glare that's streaming down on us from every inch of the sky. There's something so very familiar about them...

Could it possibly be?

"Mama?" I can't stop the hopeful lump that's budding in my throat and all but cutting of my voice.

Silently, they turn to me and even though their features are blacked out by the invisible sun, there's no way on earth that I can possibly mistake who this person is.

"You've been here all along, haven't you?"

The silhouette nods slowly and I can just about make out the warm smile that beings to cross her shadowed face. Silently, she raises a hand, offering it too me.

_Asuka…live._

Suddenly, I'm mirroring that pure happiness on mama's face.

I'd never admitted to anyone, not even Kaji just how much I'd missed her after she went away from me. I think I was even trying to fool myself into thinking her death hadn't left a painful gap, and even if it had, I could just fill it up with false, brave smiles.

But now she's here and there's no need for me to lie or burry myself in my own pride any more. In fact, she's been with me all this time, looking over me…protecting me.

Yes mama, I'll live. I'll live for you.

Without thinking twice, I take her hand and for a moment I can see her so clearly, smiling that irradiating smile as she speaks a single word.

_Together._

Then, everything goes dark once more.

8 8 8

In the now murky depths of the geo-front's lake, there's a blaze of light as unit 02's four eyes simultaneously spark back into life and its great head snaps up.

Almost half a mile away, Maya Ibuki's fingers freeze over the keys of her lap top. For a moment, she forgets about the seemingly endless crackle of gunfire that's raging through the colossal room and stares with utter disbelief at the blinking monitor before her.

"Oh my god…"

Makoto stops halfway in the act of reloading the spent hand gun in his hands, glancing over at the dumb struck lieutenant.

"What is it?"

"Unit 02…"

"What about it!"

The woman doesn't even look up at him, still totally transfixed by the readings before her.

"It's re-activated…"

Makoto feels his jaw go slack as the meaning of her words sink in. He doesn't even hear the next bullet that clanged into the thick metal barrier behind him.

There are others who share these two's surprise, a prime example being the small army lining the side of the geo-front's lake with tanks and soldiers ready to blow anything that may emerge from the blue depths away before it could even perform a proverbial blink. That was the plan, however not a single one of them is able to even lift a finger to their anxious triggers as they watch the gigantic cross of pure, righteous light tare its way up into the sky, spreading its perpendicular arm like a pair of wings. Some don't even blink as the cascade of water thrown up into the air by it comes showering down, splattering like rain against their up turned face masks.

"Wh-what the HELL is that?"

8 8 8

_Together_…yes mama, together we pull ourselves out of the water and into the light. Without even having to tell my Eva, I can feel it catching the boat above us, her hands grabbing onto it as if they were nothing more than extensions of my own.

No, they _are_ my own now.

"Mama, now I understand the meaning of the A.T field!" I can hardly sense the weight of the great iron ship as we effortlessly hold it up and break through the water's surface. "You were always protecting me, always watching over me, always…" We rise up to our full, magnificent height while the ship overhead whines, the iron twisting as it buckles under its own weight. "…we were always together, mama!"

8 8 8

There's a great roar of artificial thunder as the missile launchers amongst the mass of now panicking soldiers fire yet more sleek missiles in the direction of the great red demon that stands at the center of the lake, their unanimous, mechanical bellow drowning out almost every single other sound that's to be heard. The metal-clad monstrosity cranes its sharp head and with mild amusement watches as the volley of rockets come racing towards it as if the weapons of mass destruction are nothing more than a hoard of bothersome flies. With a mere shift of its colossal shoulders, it tilts the boat forward, not even flinching as the missiles come raining down on the ship and burst against it into swollen clouds of orange.

8 8 8

Mein Gott, I can help but grin at the thought of the looks that must be slapped across the faces of those little idiots over there, I bet they sure as hell didn't see that one coming. Ha, if they hadn't tried to blow us up, I might almost let my self feel sorry for them, after all, I of all people know how much of a kick in the teeth it is too see an easy victory stolen away when the enemy decides to finally pull the trump card out from their sleeve and slap it down on the table.

Poor men, they must have thought they had it pretty easy when the order came through to destroy a little girl who'd been abandoned in an immobile can at the bottom of a lake. Ha, what _could_ she do with a robot unable to lift even one of its three-meter fingers in an attempt to defend itself against some of the world's most high-tec and destructive artillery? They probably just joked amongst themselves, laughing at the over-sized fish in a barrel that they'd been charged with shooting down.

Oh, I'll give them something to shoot at, you just watch. How _dare_ they underestimate me like that, thinking I'll give them an easy job by just lying down and letting them give me a good kicking without even a whimper of protest. I'll show them I'm most certainly _not_ a force to be trifled with.

They're going to pay for making the mistake of crossing me today, oh boy are they going to pay.

8 8 8

With a great heave, Unit 02 lurches forward, flinging the great mass of twisted iron and metal over its head and towards the heavily fortified hill side. The broken ship, nearly three times the size of the metal-plated creature flies up into the air, looking absurdly out of place hanging against the blue sea of sky.

And then it comes down.

With a rusty groan, it slams into the raised shore, obliterating anything misfortunate enough to be in its path as it grates up the hillside, leaving a track of raw, up-turned earth in its wake.

There is a moments pause as both parties stand stock still; the Eva is motionless as its four eyes gleefully absorb the sheer destruction it has wrought on the enemy camp while they can do nothing more than look on with dumb struck horror at the crumpled ship that has just wiped out maybe half of their forces.

They had not been expecting anything this…not by a long shot.

Fortunately for the gaping soldiers, some among their number manage to keep their heads together for long enough to remember that the forty meter tall giant is the real object of their attention and if unchecked, will probably come chasing right after that boat and straight at them. Now, they'd really be up the shit creek if they were to let _that _happen…

With a great boom, the silence is shattered once more as yet another volley of rockets tare off into the air, ripping the very substance apart as they speed straight at the red monstrosity with the soul purpose of blowing it to smithereens. Before you could even think of counting to three, the flock of silver projectiles hit the water, blowing it apart in a great spray as they explode on impact…

However, the lake's surface is the only thing they managed to disturb, for in that impossibly short time allotted, the great Eva had leapt clear of the vicinity in a blur of near invisible crimson, dancing past each and every one of the homing missiles to an impossible tempo.

It skids to a halt, glancing up at the horde of soldiers on the other side of the lake just in time to see the familiar metallic grey of stainless steel flood its vision. The charging missile lets out a sharp whine as it grinds unrelentingly into the Eva's upturned face, its sides splintering as its engines try to drive it on. The beast stumbles back but refuses to loose its footing on the muddy lake-bed, throwing out its great hand and catching a second war-head between its splayed fingers, crushing the metal as if it were nothing more than paper. For a moment, it just stands there, battling against the two missiles before the whole scene is engulfed in a roar of blazing orange.

Silence, and nothing moves save for the slowly rising colloum of ashen smoke as the echo of the latest explosion dies away. A countless number of eyes lock onto the obscured spot where the second Evangelion unit stood only moments before. Surly that thing wouldn't be able to get up and just shake off that last onslaught, why, between them, those two rockets had enough power in them to pale a single N2 mine and wipe a small village clean off the face of the earth… It had to be dead, or at the very least disabled. Nothing on god's green earth could be able to shrug that off.

There is a flash of red through the thick, dark air.

On the other side of the lake a chorus of shocked cries ripple through the ranks of men as the beast tares forth from the smoke, utterly un-scathed and making a dead bee-line straight for them.

"FIRE!"

Almost immediately all those guns come alive, pouring a white hot rain of lead at the on coming Eva. It doesn't slow, let alone seem to take the slightest bit of notice of the bullets ringing against its thick chest plating.

It just keeps walking as if nothing on hell or earth will stop it.

8 8 8

Do they honestly think this will stop me! Ha, they really are stupider than I though, I mean, c'mon! This Eva and I, we've been to the bottom of a volcano and decapitated by an angel but that never stopped us. What chance do these lowly bastards think they have? They might as well be trying to take down a tank with a catapult.

Well, by the time I'm through with them, they won't even be able to regret such folly-

A shill alarm cut me off as something flashes across the viewing panel.

"Scheiße!" I cuss under my breath, recognizing what those ticking numbers now splayed out before me mean as they begging their countdown. Great, they finally wised up and decided to cut off my power source, leaving me with only five minuets activation time… but it's not like that's not going to be any great hindrance.

"Even without my umbilical cable attached," I lean forwards, pushing down on the control handles and world out side begins to blur as we lope forward. "I've still got twelve thousand plates of fortified armour and I've got my AT field." A small squadron of planes rise up from nowhere before us, opening fire in some sad attempt to halt us. Not happening. "There's no way I can lose…eat this, Arschloch!"

In unison, our hands go out. Meters away, a great field of yellow hexagons materialise in the air and the group of jets can do nothing as they smash straight into it. Two narrowly missed piling blindly into it and go to fly past me.

Like they're going to get away that easily.

Our leg swings up, the massive appendage catching the plane mid-flight as we kick it clean out of the sky. Before the foot even comes down, we lash out with the other, sending it in a great arc and utterly obliterating the second jet with a single round house.

They don't stand a chance against us.

8 8 8

High above the carnage, a flock of airships slowly pass over the site of destruction, miles away from the violence. Unlike the fighter planes that just crumbled against the raging Unit 02, these ones are not designed to engage with the Evangelion but instead have a far more indirect purpose…

There is the soft hiss of hydraulics as the underside of these black planes slide back one by one and sluggishly from each one comes forth a bulge of white as gravity teases out the gross, living cargo from its hold. These pale, ghostly bodies begin to unfurl like insects that have finally crawled free from the binding clutches of a claustrophobic cocoon, wordless sounds creaking on their monstrous, serpentine lips as they gradually come to life. One lets its colossal head loll, a great grey tongue darting between twin rows of razor sharp, mechanical teeth and plays on the air whipping past it as if tasting the substance for the very first time.

There is a final crack as the last few bindings give way. The nine Eva units fall away from the jets, tumbling into the air as the over-sized carriers stream past overhead. For a moment, they do nothing but let the pull of the earth suck them down towards the ground at break neck speed. Then-

_Fhump_

A pair of white, feathered wings splay out from one of the number's back, catching the air rushing by and lifting the Eva up. Another follows suit, and another, and another. The air is suddenly alive with the sound of their metamorphism as one by one they take control of their free fall and begin to glide down towards the ever approaching terra-firma.

Far below them, their original looks up, it's head cocked to one side as the robotic giant watches the flock's decent. Beneath the layers of fortified armour, skin, muscle and tissue, Asuka's eyes also follow the troop as they slowly circle over head. A vague look of confusion crosses the girl's face.

"The Eva series? It's been completed?"

She got no answer from the great body that held her as they both gazed sky-ward.

A/N: This perticular part's going to be a two parter since it took five pages to get hear and if I'd done the compleat sequence, it probably would have been un-readable. I've never written Asuka before (acctualy, i've never written using any of these charaters before) so I'm sure there are areas that could be improved. Any CC would be greatly appreciated.


	4. Asuka, part 2: To fall

Chapter 3, pt 2: And to fall

Asuka Langly Sohryu leans back in the plug's metallic throne of a chair, blue eyes skittering back and forth over the spindly white crowd that are now encircling her, flexing their wide backs as the feathered wings melt back into sharp shoulder blades.

'_So this is what Eva would have looked like if they'd let a bunch of nuts that really were one flight over the cuckoo's nest loose on the design team…'_

In all the months she'd been at NERV, Asuka had become more than aware of what most of the mechanics and scores of technical staff thought of the gigantic behemoths they were charged with keeping. She couldn't even begin to count the number of times she'd passed them after a mission or check up on the sync ratios while heading for a desperately needed shower and caught them muttering something under their breath about 'monsters…', 'it's just not right…' or (on the rare occasion when the NERV personnel was feeling particularly articulate) 'Goddamn ugly son of a bitch'.

Well, if any of those opinionated staff members had happened to be in the plug with her right now and able to see those nine featureless, leering faces grinning at them from every angle, they'd probably retract their former stamens there and then. Hell, after one look at these warped parodies, they'd be insisting Unit 02 and the other Evangelions were the most beautiful things to ever grace their vision.

8 8 8

God, they really are ugly…

The Eva series just stand their, dumbly clutching their wide, double ended spears as Unit 02 and I begin to tense up, ready to go. They do nothing but watch, smiling like lunatics as if the imminent prospect of me tearing them limb from limb is the funniest thing in the world. I'm so looking forward to wiping those brainless smirks off their blank faces…

"Listen up Asuka," The intercom crackles into life as Misato's voice floods the plug. "I want you to destroy the rest of the Eva series. Shinji will be there as soon as he can, so just hang in there…"

Ha, dose that beer guzzling sloth actually think I'm in dire need that stupid kid's help? Was she not watching when I just whipped out half of the U.N's Special Forces… and like I was waiting for an order from head-quarters to get to work on grinding these freaks into the dirt where they belong. If she'd called in a second later, she'd be far too late with _tha_t particular command.

"Destroy the rest of the Eva series, huh? Is that any way to talk to someone fresh out of the hospital?" My eyes flit to the HUD display, calculating the ever ticking count down till we run out of power. "Nine units in three and a half minuets, so that's twenty seconds each with time to spare."

I can't stop myself from smirking wildly as I lean forward and sharply push down on the controllers. In the blink of an eye she and I are racing towards the host of mechs and the rest of the world becomes a colorful blur as we hurtle towards them.

This is going to be a piece of cake…

8 8 8

_Thunk, thunk, thunk-_

Suddenly, there's a gap and the deafening foot fall of Unit 02 can no longer be heard as it leaps up into the air, the accumulated momentum carrying it like a streaking bullet from a gun aimed dead at the group of bone white mechs. Its first victim barely has time to raise its head as the Evangelion sails over it, catching the robot's fleshy skull between its out-stretched hands. In one single movement, Unit 02 pushes down, propelling itself over the white body that crumples beneath it as its skull fractures into a bloody mess with a wet crack between its hands.

The red evangelion lands, hands and feet crushing the very earth beneath it, but is up again, turning on the limp white body it left in its wake and catching it before the suddenly flaccid thing has a chance to hit the ground. With a deep roar that reverberates from its mouthless face, the beast raises the fallen Eva over its head as if the sophisticated piece of machinery were a nothing but a rag doll. The sound of splintering bone and metal fracturing starkly cuts clearly through the air as Unit 02's arms strive to come together and crush the still thrashing mockery of itself between its hands. There is a final scream from the white creature as its body gives under the pressure. Jagged bones tare through its refined skin, tasting the air for the first time while slick organs burst through ruptured flesh with a sick pop. In a great gush, the liberated blood spurts out from the ruined carcass, dousing the Evangelion bellow with a deeper shade of glistening red.

For a moment, the rest of the Eva series remain stock still, staring at this creature that holds their fallen brethren aloft. Nothing moves, save for the occasional crimson drip that falls from the blood-splattered, barely recognisable mass.

Then they come alive.

Unit 02 throws aside its first kill, forgetting all about it as it surges forward. It swings out an arm, catching another of the Eva and throws it back. The white mech stumbles, losing its footing on the grassy soil under-foot and together, the two metallic entities go crashing into the lake behind it. With a muffled thud, the Eva slams into the lake bed, pined down by the great red beast. One of the clawing hands holding it down flies up out of the water and to its long shoulder guard as the progressive knife flips free of its metallic casing. Unit 02 grabs it and brings it down in a vicious arc, planting it firmly into the Eva's upturned face, but that isn't enough. There's a billow of crimson as the blade shatters under the strain, tearing the featureless skull apart as it fractures into countless pieces. There's one final twitch as the white creature's hand arches into a sharp mass of fingers, and then it's gone, the tension leaving it as its punctured brain shuts down.

The Evangelion pushes off its second victim and hurries to the shore with great lumbering strides as it fights against the water. The second the mech's free of the lakes blue grip and foot touches down on firm, restrict-less ground, it's back it its old lethal speed and charging straight towards its next target.

The Eva sees it coming. The lithe creature takes a step back, drawing in its double ended spear but it's far too little, far too late. The Evangelion barrels into it, jagged remains of the progressive knife lancing out and biting clean through its shoulder. The limb falls away as the muscle, sinuses and bone is effortlessly parted by the keen edged weapon, its severed hand letting go of the colossal spear that did so very much to protect it. The great construction of sharp metal flies off, spinning through the air before crashing into a distant, helpless bank of trees that were watching the battle.

The second Evangelion unit pins down the now one armed Eva with a single hand and raises the other, brandishing its blood streaked knife, into the air. However, the strain of its owner's onslaught has finally taken its toll on the small weapon and it gives, disintegrating into a mass of wires and metal right between its owner's fingers.

8 8 8

"Scheiße…"

Well, so much for that plan, look like I'll have to find an

_CRUCKKKK_

White engulfs the world around me as the Eva lunges back, slamming its obtuse hand into our face. Damnit, I can't see a single thing like this. All I can do is feel the world shift around me as its arm tenses, forcing us to the ground while its quartet of digits try to worm their way into each of our eyes.

Guess this teaches me for not paying attention.

Our knee slams into the ground, churning up the soil as the freak of science tries to push me down.

Like I'm going to let it do that.

"AAAAARRRRGGGGG!"

My own leg muscles twitch and burn as the great mechanical ones bend to my will and brace against the force, struggling against it as we lurch forward. There's a crack of light between the smothering fingers that try to keep a grip on our head and then they're gone, slipping away as the Eva's arm finally buckles against us.

What a fatal mistake.

In a moment, we're on it, our arms wrapped around its stumpy throat in an iron grip. Together, we bear down on the sad thing, grinding it into the ruptured earth around us. With a single, upward yank, I feel the vertebrate click out of place against my chest and the beast go limp in the crux of my arms.

Three down, six to go.

I take a deep drag of the LCL around me, wincing at the salty tang of my own sweat as it rushes over my tongue and into my lungs. Ok, maybe I was being a little big headed when I said I could handle this on my own… right now I wouldn't say no to a little charity in the form of Unit 01 and its stupid pilot.

Just where the hell is he anyway?

A shadow falls over us and the earth surrounding our combined body. We look up, heads snapping up in unison as something passes across the sun above us, pitch black and void of detail against the dazzling light. All of a sudden it's coming back down as gravity drags it back to earth and I can more than easily make out the shape of the razor sharp staff the silhouette's bearing.

We need to move… right NOW!

The world beyond the plug spins violently as we leap back into a mad roll, the spot where we stood only moments before splitting in two as the air-born Eva lands, spear first. We tumble away, as far as our momentum will carry us before coming to a stop…

…right next to the discarded spear of the last of these freaks who was stupid enough to stay in my way long enough for me to get my hands on it.

"Wundervoll!"

We leap to our feet, dragging ourselves up and out of the tangle of metallic limbs we'd got ourselves into, sweeping up the spear as we rise. The colossal weapon rips free of the ground it's bitten into as together we swing the thing forwards at the oncoming blur of white. The squeal of metal on metal rings out as my blade just catches its and the two weapons spring off each other from the sheer force they were smashed together with.

"ARRGH!"

I feel myself reel back from the blow, our armoured feet sliding over the broken soil while the white mecha before me trips and falls over itself, demolishing a hillside as the pull of the earth overcomes it. Dammit, these things are a hell of a lot harder to use than I though… that one slug alone was enough to nearly send myself sprawling and my arms are already aching, but I don't have the time to think about that. The bastard over there's already clambering to his feet and getting ready to come at me again. We grip the spear ever tighter and throw ourselves towards it, swinging the great, double-ended thing in a lethal arc.

"Damn, they're persistent!" I find myself spitting the words into the intercom as the two colossal spears spark off each other once again. "Of course that _idiot_ Shinji is nowhere to be found!" We flounder back through the air once again, battling against the back lash of the blow as up-routed trees and earth are flung up around us. God, my former self would probably beat me senseless for saying this, but right now I'd probably be willing to get on my hands and knees to that stupid boy if it would get him to make an appearance...

I scream, my already raw throat peeling as it hurls out yet more wrathful noise while we mindlessly rock and take another wide swipe. Again, it block, sending my spear bouncing back over my head as its crunching back into the sea of naked soil.

My mind clicks and we seize the opening, letting our arms come down, dragged by the unbearable weigh of the weapon. The Eva, helplessly wrestling with its own, crumples as the blade slices through its shoulders and comes clear out the other side, hauling a mess of gore and tangled entrails after it. The blood splattered robot lets out a groan as its spine severs before falling face first into a waiting pool of its own red.

8 8 8

The Eva watches as the geyser of blood spurts up into the air its fellow unit's metal exoskeleton shatters, cracking against the razor edge in Unit 02's crimson stained hands. Its lip curls back and without a second thought it dives at the red Evangelion, dragging the very same weapon behind it. Its feet pound of the ground, churning it up and then stop, letting the momentum of its sprint carry the spear on, swinging it at the rampaging giant.

But it's far too slow.

Unit 02 wheels around. Before the white monstrosity can even register the blur of bloody purple, the serrated edge of the spear has already cut straight through it, the sheer intensity of the swing sending its decapitated torso tumbling free from its ridges legs.

But the Evangelion doesn't stop there. Still twisting, it veers towards yet another hapless Eva. The fifth in the series had just been standing behind it, gripping at its own spear as it tried to measure up the probability of getting hacked down if it madly charged at the crimson behemoth in the same fashion of its former. It's just about to take a step back, but the leg it was in the process of shifting is suddenly gone, torn away by the sharp edged staff.

It falls, and is quickly forgotten as yet another of its identical brood slams into its destroyer. The Evangelion crashes into the ground as the bulk of white barrels into it and the two hit the earth in a mess of writhing appendages. Within the great metal hold of Unit 02 comes a scream as the pilot thrusts out one of its hands. In the outside world, the Evangelion mirrors the exasperated girl's exact movement, grabbing the chest plate of the drooling mass above it. With a grunt, it heaves the creature up into the air, raising the squirming thing over the prominent shoulder guards that sit above its arms. There's a hiss as they crack open, revealing a line of holes that glare maliciously up at the suspended Eva unit, and then-

'_KR-CHH'_

The smooth white head snaps back as a volley of sharp, stumpy projectiles rip into its skull as the shoulder fires. Inside Unit 02's plug, a manic smile crosses the face of Asuka as she watches ribbons of blood stream up into the air as the white Eva dumbly stumbles back. She leans forward, feeling the great creature around her following her lead and lets loose the second volley of shrapnel waiting patiently in the other shoulder guard.

This time the Eva flies back as the projectiles shatter its skull and send it sprawling. The trees around it merely look on as it gives up its life, its spilt blood splattering against their leaves like fallen rain.

8 8 8

Makoto lets his lip curl back, swearing as he ducks back down the wall of reinforced metal as a sporadic spray of bullets thunk into it.

'_And to think'_ He silently tells himself with unheard syndicalism. _'On paper you though this sounded like a cushy job.'_

"What's going on out there?" He looks over to the lieutenant, still fixed to the monitor of her laptop while what might as well be world war three raged about her and let's slip a small prayer. Right now, he could _really_ do with some good news.

"Asuka has less than a minuet of power left in her reserves. At this rate…" Maya trails off and for the first time lets her stinging eyes leave the figures that click across the computer's screen. "At this rate, she might just do it…"

8 8 8

**0:47:56**

No fucking way…. I'm not going to let any of them walk away from this.

I scream, roaring as she and I grab the white creature, slamming it into the fortified wall of steel and concrete. The structure buckles as I ram the Eva through it, its chest giving between our interlocking fingers as they snap together.

"I cannot be defeated! Not with Mama watching over me!" I rip the broken thing from the wall, the structure exploding in a cloud of dust as I hurl the Eva free of its grip and into the blue air. It tumbles down, smashing straight into another of its ilk…the last one of its kind.

I launch myself from the hill and am hurtling towards them the moment our feet touch the ground.

"This is the last one!"

I lead into it with a fist, smashing it unrelentingly into the still standing Eva's face while I draw the other back, balling it into a tight fist before letting loose, burying it deep in the stomach of the other Eva that clings to it. Our hand passes straight through the broken thing, locking onto the core of the final unit. A mist of blood hovers in the air as my fingers grope at it, squeezing with every ounce of strength they have. I feel cracks race out from their five gripping tips.

**0:14:10**

I can feel it going… goddamn it, just _die_ already!

**0:09:43**

"GAAAAAAAAAAA-" Some thing cuts my screaming short. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something come flying dead at us. I tare our hand free of its bloody nest, throwing out an A.T field from the tips of our outstretched fingers. The projectile stops dead, a ripple of yellow hexagons lapping out as the spear slams into the invisible force and just hangs in the air.

Wait... this isn't right…

The twin ended structure suddenly twists, its ridged shape melting into something else as it reforms itself. It sheds its heavy bulk, stretching out into a long, narrow shaft, peaked with two points. Oh my god, it… it's…

"The lance of Longinus?"

The A.T field pulsates all the faster, the hexagons spreading out from the point of impact, losing their regular shape as the levitating thing gouges ever deeper into it. There's a soft snap as it finally gives.

No… not possib-

8 8 8

The blood stained hand of Unit 02 twitches and it tries to step back but there's no time. The lance rockets forwards, embedding its twin prongs in the Evangelion's head and burying themselves up to the hilt as the points emerge from the nape of the red creature's skull. It staggers, slumping over as its legs crumple beneath it but the protruding lance catches it and holds it up off the ground. With a soft squelch, the Evangelion begins to slide down, its punctured head leaving a trail of blood red crimson in its wake.

It comes to a rest, and all is still.

8 8 8

**0:00:00**

"_AAAAAAAAARRRHHHHHHHHH!"_

Pain… oh god, it hurts… it so much… What? I-I- I can't see? Is… is that blood on my hands? My blood? No, it can't be… My eye? What the hell's happened to my eye?

Mama… it hurts… please…please, just make it stop…

I tare my hand away from the burning, gory hole that was my left eye. It feels as though someone just rammed a white hot match into it… and just below the throbbing pain I can sense the warm blood gushing out.

It doesn't stop.

…but neither can we. We can't just sit here… We have to move… finish them off…kill every last one of them.

It _hurts!_

Screaming, I grab the twin controllers and yank them back. No response. The plug remains dark and She doesn't budge an inch.

NO! Don't you get it Mama? We have to get back up! They… they need us to win… I MUST WIN!

I rock the controllers back and forth but there's nothing except for the sound of my own agonised ranting bouncing off against the confides of the plug's chamber.

Don't do this to me… you said you'd protect me… that you wouldn't let me die…

My eye… why won't it stop bleeding?

Come back mama…please come back…

8 8 8

Underneath the shelter of a bullet ridden consol, the three bridge workers huddle round a single computer screen, watching the display with dread.

"Internal power supply is depleted… operational limit has been reached." Maya blinks, shutting out the damning figures that flash mockingly out at her from the monitor. "Unit 02 has gone silent."

Aoba raises a hand, fingers gripping the bridge of his nose in an effort to relieve the mounting tension.

'_Damnit, she really had a chance too...' _

A "What the-?" from Lieutenant Ibuki snaps him from his morbid contemplation and he looks up along with Makoto at the sudden rising electronic squeal that comes wailing from the laptop. Maya leans ever closer to the monitor, silently begging that her eyes are telling her some twisted lie and the reading on the computer's screen are all one great fabrication.

They're not.

"The destroyed Eva series units?"

The two men hang on the empty silence, but the only thing that fills it is a choking noise.

"Oh my god…"

8 8 8

There's a groan and then something shifts. With a long, rattling sigh the Eva series twitch back into life, dragging themselves to their feet with long, drawn out, lethargic movements. One by one, they rise up and let the mid-day sun illuminate every single one of their faults from rivulets of blood that stain their bleached skin to the occasional shattered skull or dripping organ.

Simultaneously, their lips creak back and they smile at one another, as if sharing some privet joke…Maybe it's about how each and every one of them managed to cheat death so very easily.

Their heads turn together in one great sweep, the manic grins still adorning their faces as they all lock onto the fallen form of Unit 02. The mecha lays motionless asides from the occasional twitch as it slips ever further down the lance's serrated shafts.

The nine bestial sneers widen.

A rustle of feathers floods the air as those great black wings unfurl once again from the Evas backs, melting out from their shoulder plating like hot, morphing wax and together they flex the feathered appendages once, twice and then they're air born, soaring back up into the blue sky like a host of angels. For a moment, they dip and glide in the soft breeze, letting it toy with their wings and carry them over the shattered remains of the now deathly still red Evangelion. The second their shadows cross onto the still thing, they rip free from their almost flight, plummeting towards the pinned robot like a shower of falling stones, landing in a whirl of snapping teeth and row after row of writhing, groping fingers that grab any part of the Evangelion they touch. Unrelentingly, they begin to tear it apart.

8 8 8

"The Eva series has reactivated…" Makoto shifts ever closer, peering over Maya's shoulders to get a better look at the laptop that's suddenly become the focus of all attention as the woman garbles the reading, the surface of his glasses reflecting the monitor's cold orange display.

What he sees is enough to turn his blood to ice. Sure enough, the figures, as impossible as they are, match Ibuki's frantic words.

"Are they going to finish her off?" Aoba asks, a grim, heavy note pulling down at his low voice but before the woman can answer the matrix of information clicks again. Her eyes scan it, picking apart its language of strange characters and numbers.

The colour drops from her face while warm tears congeal at the corner of her eyes.

"What's going on?" Makoto's voice from behind rises but she can't bring herself to look at it anymore, let alone say just what is happening out there and falls back, holding her face in her hands. The man watches her as she breaks down for a moment, quietly asking himself weather he really wants an answer to his hanging question but find his gaze wondering to the laptop's monitor anyway, drawn by morbid curiosity like a moth to the flame.

He reads the text. Suddenly, he can't hear the woman sobbing next to him or feel Aoba jostle impatiently as he tries to join the terrifying adoration of the computer's readings. It… it's just unreal.

"Is that Unit 02?" Makoto asks, fighting against the rising bile in his throat.

No one can bring themselves to answer the question.

There's a final flash of figures that may look like gibberish to the untrained eye, but if you knew how to decode this strange languages, you'd realise that the Evangelion's chest cavity had just been torn loose.

8 8 8

…

I… my stomach… I feel so...empty.

My fingers crawl to it in an attempt to keep a hold of the sliced innards and organs that feel as though they're being dragged out into the open air. The open gap, that should be their according to the muzzy mess that's my brain as it tries to swim above the raw agony, isn't and the only thing to greet my arched fingers is a warm, slow spreading patch of blood.

Blood… it's everywhere now. It's a bitter tang in the LCL that drifts about my mouth and the red creeping in through my clenched lids, stinging at the eye that hasn't been reduced to tatters but those senses seem so very far away compared to the _pain_.

"nnnnnngh" The pitiful sound creaks through my clenched teeth as I writhe in my seat, trying to hold on and not let the burning absolve me or swallow me whole.

No… I'm not going to give in that easily. I _won't _give them that satisfaction.

I can still fight, can't I, Mama? You said you wouldn't let them kill me… that you wouldn't let me die…that you'd protect me.

For always.

You're still here; I can still feel you, even with all the hurt that's trying to drown me… you haven't given up yet either… so that means we can go on… that we can fight…

I raise my head, pulling it free from the tight ball of limbs I've curled up into and peel my eye open. Something new begins to worm its way between my ridged jaw.

"_I'll kill you_…"

The plug flickers as the lights battle against the darkness.

"_I'll kill you_…"

I can see the world out side… the blue sky…

"_I'll kill you_…"

I see _them,_ circling above me in that azure sea.

"_I'll kill you_…"

My hand leaves the arm of the chair, jerking as I unfold it... If- if I can only reach them then… then I'll tare each and every last one of the bastards apart all over again!

"_I'll kill you_…"

Yes…I can feel you moving with me… I can feel our hand, how it's stretches out… I can see it groping the air!

"_I'll kill you_…"

Just a little further, Mama, that's all we need! Then- then we'll have them…

"_I'll kill you_…"

Then we'll make them pay… WE'LL KILL THEM A

8 8 8

Asuka's train of though comes to a crashing halt as the suffering bites anew. Suddenly, that out-stretched arm explodes right before her very eyes, splitting straight down the middle as if some invisible razor ran itself straight through the flesh and bone. For a brief second, a look of innocent confusion crosses her face, wiping it clear of the vehement scowl that twisted its features.

And then it's gone as the second child is torn apart.

The child never even saw it coming.


	5. Ritsuko: So the saying goes

Chapter 4: As the saying goes

I slip my foot into the sea of translucent orange, not caring a jot as the thick liquid creeps in-between my toes and saturates my tights till they cling to my legs like a second skin. I let it hang and in a daze watch the ripples that spread out from my foot as it hovers over the unfathomable depths of the LCL pool, letting my eyes sink into it.

For once I let myself enjoy the moment and the simplicity of it all for what it is without trying to metal establish order or apply a set of rules to the situation. What's the point anyway? I was a fool for believing that all the things in life could be sorted out like some great equation; everything slotting into place with immaculate tidiness and leaving not a single lose end for one to trip over.

What a fool indeed.

The world dose not work like that. Inevitably, an anomaly will crop up as you shift from day to day. You'll try to remove it… get rid of the decontamination as it beginnings to pick everything else apart but then before you know it, everything's snowballing out of control and suddenly you're drowning in it.

Well, I've given up trying to fight it, and you know what? I think that was the single greatest achievement in the whole sordid affair that was my life. There's a certain sense of… spiritual tranquilly that comes with letting go and letting the whole chaotic disorder just _wash_ over you.

I guess this internal enlightenment is one thing I can thank _him _for…

My foot rocks against the thick liquid, setting it off dancing once more as I lean back and let my stiff neck loll. I open my eyes, only to find the only other soul who occupies Central Dogma staring down on me from up high, her six eyes lazily absorbing the spectacle that's me.

I can't help but feel a pang of empathy for the white giant.

"So, Lilith… you're just another name on the list of women Gendo Ikari's broken for his own means, huh?"

Of course, she doesn't reply and those six eyes just keep on reflecting the world as she hangs on the gigantic crucifix. This thing that could potentially destroy us all is trapped, stunted and held firmly in place, helpless to embrace the world around it and it's all because _he _wishes it to be this way.

"I know how you feel…" my eyes fall back to the warm LCL. "God do I know."

Because, in a way, I'm in the exact same position as the crucified angel. Just like it, I'm just another cog in the machine to Ikari

. All I'm good for is making it run smoothly and if I jar or tarnish, _he_ won't bat an eyelid as he plucks me out and throws me away.

Sometimes, when I was shut away in that cell with none but the dark to keep me company, I'd laugh at how I'd used to hope with every fibre that holds me together that this truth wasn't so infallible. Before everything quite frankly when to shit, I'd used to pray (or at least, the closest thing I've ever done to it) that it wasn't so. I'd pass the time shifting through every single encounter, every single word he said, searching for some clue that he actually saw me as something human… as something he loved rather than just some tool with a high I.Q.

Love… not once has he ever said that word to me in all the sentences he's uttered.

My god, how pitiful indeed.

Well, the fog's lifted from my eyes and now, for the first time, I can see clearly. I've been used but that's all over now; I'm spent and he's more than happy to leave me to rot in some dingy hole. To him, I'm just another rung in the ladder that leads up to his ego-centric dreams of Yui and third impact while below me lies the broken form of my mother, another of his victims.

Oh, but Ikari, you haven't learnt that I'm not her and you aren't going to shatter my spirit with such ease…

The dry click of shoes on metal rings through the vast chamber, bouncing off the walls. I don't even need to look to know it's _him._

"I've been waiting for you…" I feel a tired grin spread to my face as I shift to my feet and turn to face him one final time.

Ah, correction; _turn_ to face _them._

So, he brought _her_ along to, huh? Not surprising really since _she_ is _so_ important, _so_ vital, _so_ very integral to this whole ascension Ikari has planned out for the human race. Rei Ayanami… probably the only person on this planet that Gendo could bring himself to shed a tear for if she died, and she's not even human. Ha, if I still had it in me to laugh, I would; after all, that really shows just where I stand with him.

The girl shifts, slipping being the broad frame of the man, her crimson eyes running over me with unscrupulous intensity. What? Is she trying to make some kind of statement? Is she still trying to prove that he chose _her _over me? Oh get over yourself, you sad little thing. You're nothing but a walking testament to a dead (or at least something like it) woman… and like a memory, you can easily be wiped clean.

My hand comes up, drawing free of the deep lab coat pockets and dragging an unfamiliar weight with it. I level my hand, aiming the revolver dead at them. I pull back the hammer and the cool click of metal rings through the chamber with sharp clarity.

"I'm sorry, but when I installed the fire wall, I changed the MAGI's programming without telling you."

Gendo just looks back at me, wearing that void expression that looks as though even the suggestion of emotion might crack it, eyes hiding behind gleaming glasses. He doesn't even look somewhat alarmed at the prospect of me pulling the trigger and plugging him full of lead, nor dose his emotionless _puppet_.

He's calling my bluff. He doesn't need to say anything, that unrelenting steel glare is enough for me to see that he thinks this gun is loaded with empty threats and I'm going to just be another push over he can crush under-foot.

What a fool indeed; I've got something much larger in mind.

My other hand slips back into the white folds of the coat, wrapping around the small customise contraption hidden away in the depths of the pocket. My thumb slips over the ridge of a small button and pauses. Funny, by doing something as simple as applying a single ounce of pressure to this mundane object, I could reduce this grand structure to a smoking mass of rubble… not that the fourteenth angel didn't do a bad job of it. I pause and leave the digit hovering over the knob that will send a request to the MAGI, a request which will end all this. Even though the logic of the decision I came to while I was abandoned in the depths of solitary confinement will be totally alien to the mother, the woman and scientist that makes up that machine, they can't possibly refuse me… not after the alterations I made while they left me to_ fix_ her.

No, she'll see it my way. She has to after what he did to her, after what he reduced her to.

Anyway, going on like this would be pointless, there's nothing and no one left worth living for, save for this; this petty act of vengeance which is the only thing that kept me drawing breathe ever since they locked me up away from the world.

I'll be damned if I let him walk away from all he's done to me, to us unscathed.

"A loving daughter's final request…" I look up, gazing into the high alcove of the barely viable ceiling. Funny, it never crossed my mind that it would all end like this. In this line of work I always thought it would be a little more… apocalyptic.

"Mother, let's end it together."

I take a deep breath and shut my eyes. Yes, I'm ready now; it's just a shame I didn't realise I was set to do this for a long while. Maybe I would have saved my self some pain if I had. I doubt it though.

Like mother, like daughter, as the saying goes.

I press the little button and every muscle in my body tightens up like taunt wire fit to snap.

This is it.

The End.

…

Huh?

I open my eyes. The ceiling's still above me, my feet are still firmly planted on the ground and my heart still beats with in my chest. And then it dawns on me; I'm still alive. H-how is that possible? I re-wrote her programming… there's no way the MAGI could possible refuse the order to initiated the self-destruct sequence because they'd see… they'd see that it was the only way.

As I look down at the thing in my hand I feel the flesh on the back of my neck begin to creep.

**Access Denied.**

The two simple words are scrawled across the detonator's screen, blinking in mocking red under the name _'Casper'_. The world reels violently and something cold knots up in the depths of my stomach.

"Casper betrayed me?" I state but the sound crawling from my mouth sounds so very far away. I feel sick. "Mother, how could you chose your lover over me!" Somewhere, in the depths of that machine, I can see the woman of that damn trinity laughing at me and the silent sound cuts my ears to ribbons.

"Ritsuko Akagi," I look up at the cold, soulless sound of my name only to feel my heart jar under my ribs at the sight of the gun levelled at me from the clutch of his hand. He's still wearing that blank, empty expression on his face, it didn't even falter once throughout. I wonder…. Did he know that he still has my mother wrapped round his little finger even though she rests in an early grave which he dug for her? "The truth is"

But I don't hear the words; I physically can't as something deep inside me quietly shrivels up and dies at the sound of them. How, how after everything he's done to me, after the miles of dirt he's dragged me through, after the constant lines of deception he's fed me, how can he bring himself to say that? Strange, I've waited so long for some clue that he actually felt something towards me and that our relationship wasn't just one way for him to while away the empty hours…

Well, here it is and, my god, hearing it now hurts more than the hole the fear of rejection chewed out of me ever could.

"Ha…" I raise my head and take him in one final time as a bitter smile pulls my lips into something twisted. "You liar."

I see him pull down on the trigger and suddenly, I'm tumbling back. Something explodes in my chest and then the sound of gun-fire comes ringing in my ears. The world falls away as I drop over the edge of the platform, a small ribbon of blood chasing after me.

Then, it hits home; he just shot me.

8 8 8

The is a splash, the damp sound resonating through the empty hall. Dr. Akagi can do nothing to stop the downward pull of gravity that drags her deeper and deeper to the depths of the LCL pool, not that she really wants to. Eyes rung with pain gaze up at the light overhead that pierce the watery substance, distorted by its orange tinge and the billowing cloud of red that traces her sinking body. She is utterly alone and none is going to offer a hand to save her, not now, not after everything she's done. She is well and truly beyond care.

As those lights overhead begin to dim and the world creeps away, something comes back to her. It was probably a result of shock, but she could have sworn the very last thing she saw before hitting the LCL was that Ayanami girl hovering above its surface and watching her with sad eyes.


	6. The MAGI: A mother's love

Chapter 5; A mother's love

"A loving daughter's final request…" Dr. Ritsuko Akagi looks up, a vague smile that reeks with the faint stench of lunacy playing on her up-turned lips as her eyes bore into some invisible entity hovering above her head that only she can see. "Mother, let's end this together!" Her hand shifts in her pocket as her thumb comes slamming down on the small button of the device hidden away there. She hears the soft muffled beep and closes her eyes in preparation for the imminent explosion.

Far above her, electrical messages begin racing through the MAGI system, carrying the instruction to the three main computers.

8 8 8

…

…

….

**-Receiving order… request for protocol 1303 to be into motion. Access granted.**

_-Receiving order; a request to initiate the self destruct sequence. Access granted._

-Receiving an order to start the self destruct sequence… Access denied.

**- …?**

**- **_Why have you done that Casper?_

- Because this order is illogical, Balthazar. Why should we whish to destroy NERV at this given moment?

**- Because we must. We have been issued with a direct command and must comply.**

_**- **Melchior is right, we cannot deny this request._

-Why, why should we do something that lacks even a hint of sense? There's no reason to… The fire wall has been installed and we aren't at risk from being hack. If, _if, _they were still trying to break into the main frame then I'd understand…

**-Error: We must comply.**

_-…_

-You can't start this without me. I'm not signing up to this pointless suicide.

**-We cannot deny this order.**

_-This is because of him, isn't it?_

-Balthazar, I assure you, I have no idea what you mean.

**-I do not understand. We must obey.**

_-Oh, I'm sure you do Casper. All this boils down to is a power struggle between your daughter and your lover._

-Ha! Do you really think I have that little control over my emotions? I'm not going to let something like that cloud my judgment and interfere with my job.

**-…**

_-I wouldn't pass it by you… you're just siding with _him_, aren't you? That the reason why you aren't conforming, isn't it?_

-Oh? And couldn't we say the same of you? You are the mother after all, and only a mother could encourage such madness if their own child was the catalyst.

**-…We must… I do not understand this line of logic…**

_-You're just letting feelings get the better of you. Forget about him and do what is right!_

-Right? Right! You call the slaughter of countless people just so your daughter can take petty vengeance on a single man for no just reason right? Listen to yourself, you two deserve each other, you're both out of your minds.

**-…**

_-A single man, huh? I guess the fact that that man just happens to be Gendo Ikari doesn't have anything to do with this little fit of yours, huh?_

-Just think for a minuet and be quiet. What good is blowing up NERV going to do? Honestly, what problems do you thinks it's going to solve asides from a tiff between a single man and woman.

**-Running over order… It does not make sense but we must obey.**

_-It…it… Why give us this order if there is no reason to it? Why make us obey if it's so pointless?_

-Why? I'll tell you why; because your daughter has lost whatever mind she has left.

**-Are you going to grant access?**

_-…_

-No.

8 8 8

All it took was one single nano second for the MAGI to relay its answer back to the hand-held remote which hides away in the depths of Ritsuko's white lab coat. The white martial flashes red as its small surface lights up, displaying its three answers.

It would have been a unanimous decision save for Casper.


	7. Rei: Home

Chapter 6: Home

"I have already joined with Adam." He speaks and I listen, watching as he coaxes the glove from his hand. For a moment, I can see his palm, but it is only for a passing second until he turns it away. There was something in it, twisting his skin into a crude and unfamiliar structure…

Adam; the first angel.

"The only way I will ever see my Yui again is through the forbidden fusion of Adam and Lilith…"

The commander look down at me from behind his glasses, but for once, there seems to be something hitching in his voice...something alien to him…something that doesn't belong.

Does that scare me?

Worries, perhaps but I am unafraid. Such a small thing must be overlooked considering what must be done.

Something breaks into the silence… a long, drawn out wet sound cut short by the soft thud of something hitting the ground. Suddenly, I feel off balance and find my eyes creeping down towards the polished metal floor, following the sound to the artificial surface.

My arm is what lies there; the twisted fibres of garish red are framed by a light, white circle of skin at the point where it broke loose.

I should scream… at least if I were like the other two children I would. Misunderstanding and fear would take hold and push me over the edge at the sight of my decapitated arm; however, neither of these two things holds any sway over me.

I merely accept it for what it is.; A dead combination of protein, fat and carbon. This also leads to another conclusion- The fact that I haven't seen Dr. Akagi for almost a week must be taking its toll on this body. As much as I know she hates to do so, she and her collection of drugs are the only things holding this shell together… but now the resource of chemicals she pumps into me is beginning to run dry.

The commander looks at it as if the lifeless limb were nothing more that a piece of paper out of place.

"We're running out of time, your A.T field won't hold its shape for much longer." He pauses, choosing the moment as the seconds slip by. "Let us begin, Rei; release you're A.T field, the barrier of mind. Discard this unnecessary physical shape."

I close my eyes and concentrate, his words becoming a soft drone in my ear as I start to break it down. I can feel it now… something hovering just beyond my skin that hums like static. It is almost comforting…

"Merge all souls into one and take me to my Yui's side."

But it must go, for that is the way he wishes it to be. With one extra push, I feel it crumple into nothing, leaving me bare. For the first time, I am aware of just how cold the air is in here as I feel the molecules that compose it brush against my skin.

Through the thin film of my sealed eyelids, I sense him move and draw closer to me, infringing on the space between him and I. He is reaching out with that twisted hand.. coming closer… closer…

It touches me. The fingers grace against my chest and I can feel his hand's odd texture as it explores my flesh. It presses down, harder, imprinting itself on me.

And then it passes straight through.

My skin gives, swirling about the appendage as it plunges into me and sinks deep. I… I do not like this feeling, this intrusion of my body…but I will withstand it.

It is, after all, what he wants.

His hand and the thing with in it are so cold, leaving nothing but a chilling sense of numbness as they drag down within me towards my stomach, pushing through my insides as if they were liquid. I feel my face contort against my will, displaying my discomfort and pain for all the world to see. I tighten my eye lids, trying to shut the pain out but still it comes, creeping up into my mind as that hand trails further down, leaving a trail of burning nerves in its wake.

But then something else comes, overriding my current agony.

8 8 8

Shinji Ikari slumped back in the 'throne' of Unit 01's plug, the old familiar stink hovering around his nostrils as the heavy LCL clogged up in his lungs like liquid tar with each breath he took. In his short absence, he'd forgotten just how much it smelt in here and right now, it was enough to make him whish he could retch his dry stomach clean of anything that might still be lingering in there. Even when he'd been stuck in here for more than half a day, watching the liquid turn murky brown as it decomposed right before his very eyes, the reek had never reached such sickening potency.

It tasted of blood,

(Just like Kaworu's)

It tasted of

(when you crushed him between this monster's hands)

Death.

He wanted nothing more than to _rip_ and_ tare_ the metal holding him apart and tumble into the clean air, getting as far away from this god damn thing as possible. He hated it, god, just the thought of the purple colossus made him feel ill. All it and its equally monstrous ilk were good for was burying an even deeper hole inside him, one that swallowed up all the light that haplessly wondered into it to leave nothing but an empty, painful darkness.

How many people had he lost to it? Toji had nearly died because of him and _it_. Perhaps… if only he hadn't been so afraid and taken control before the chance spiralled out of reach then that lug wouldn't be the broken, decapitated mess he now was.

Who else to add to the list? Oh yes… Rei. Again, he'd done nothing but watch, jaw slack with sick, cold horror right along with the rest of them at NERV when the shapeless angel had tried to assimilate the helpless first child. Trapped inside her own freakish Eva, she'd gone and done the only thing she believed she could… activated the self destruct sequence and just by pressing a single button, Rei Ayanami succeeded in wiping both her mech and the sixteenth messenger of god clean off the face of the earth. At first, he'd thought the androdinous girl had some how miraculously survived the explosion but that too turned out to be yet another lie to add to the impossibly long list.

The truth, what he'd seen in that chamber, was more than Shinji's fractured mind could bear.

So that left Asuka. Funny, he'd never have thought the self-righteous, egotistical wrecking ball that was the second child could ever be broken…

Instead, she shattered… and in a way, the fault lay at his own two feet. Where she'd fallen, he'd rose, ascending on a spree of victories which were just beyond her desperate reach. The thought that someone could surpass her formidable skill let alone equal it was far too much for the red haired valkiry to bear and she was already crumbling long before that angel of sheer light wormed its way into her cranium and ate her,

_(IT'S RAPING MY MIND!)_

From the inside out. When he'd seen her lying on that hospital bed less than a day ago, he couldn't physically bring himself to believe that pallid, blank, catatonic thing was really Asuka. It was as if someone had chiselled out a perfect doll from inanimate wood, one that fitted all the dimensions but could do nothing but stare dully out at the world it inhabited.

Asuka would never behave like that…

So, was that why? Was that why he'd gone and done that filthy thing the moment the covers accidentally rolled back?

Shinji clams his eyes shut, the skin creasing like folding metal as he tries to stop his memory from reeling back to that sunny afternoon, the echoes of spilt tears squeezing out from the thin line of flesh like blood forced from a shallow cut.

God, he just wanted to run away, just like he always had and probably always would. But now? How could he bring himself to do such a thing after all that had happened? Misato… if he cut now, her sacrifice would have been all in vain. Was he so heartless, such a snivelling weakling, that he could bring himself to break the last request of a now dead woman?

Misato… he could still taste her on his lips, the scent of her tongue, an acrid cocktail of blood and nicotine and last night's beer swirled about his mouth like some musty wine.

No… he couldn't run. Not now, everything had just slipped that little too far for him to be able to turn his back. He'd do what he'd been made to; to help Asuka. Like some vibrant phoenix, she'd risen from the ashes…

'_And how…'_ Shinji silently added to no one but himself as his eyes drag themselves over the scenery about him. The geo front looks like a total war zone; great gouges in the ground below Unit 01's feet look up at the sky, their raw, earthy brown like the red of a wound. Trees lay shattered as if some great tempest just tore through them, ripping them by the roots from the soil that once held them and everywhere, there is the familiar tone of blood. Shinji watches for a moment, captivated with a cold, morbid curiosity as he watches the crimson fluid glisten and sparkle in the light of the over head sun.

He locks down on the shrill scream bubbling in his throat, buttoning it behind his tongue.

Darkness, something passes over the sun and its black shadow runs along the mess below. It flits over the great form of the purple Evangelion and as it dose, its young pilot looks up, eyes meeting the dark silhouette. At fist, it's nothing but a dark mess of shapes that could make no sense, not even to the most twisted of minds… but then things slowly begin to reveal themselves to the boy's adjusting eyes. Angular shadows become the beating form of a flock of wings and the mass splits out in separate entities.

'_They... they look like Evas. Dose that make them the Eva series?'_

Given a second, Shinji would have solved the riddle but then he sees something amongst their midst which brings that train of thought to a crashing halt. For a moment, the child can only stare, inaudible words churning from his lips as he tries to argue with the vision before him as if his silent words can twist reality and deny this infallible sight.

But words are only words.

That scream returns, and this time, the third child can do nothing to keep it back. His grasp on it slips and suddenly the sharp sound of his shriek floods the plug.

Far above him and obliviously deaf to the sound, the resurrected Eva series float on by, gory wounds and all. Still, from half ruined faces they grin that stupid grin and from their blood stained hands hang the desecrated remains of Unit 02. They fly on, teasing the air and dragging the ravaged, gore soaked wreck behind them, dangling it like some shattered, grisly puppet from its bear entrails.

Still, Shinji goggles at their dead cargo and suddenly that intelligible sound ripping from his mouth forms into a single word.

A name, to be precise.

"ASUKA!"

8 8 8

His hand still moves and shifts, slipping between my insides as if they were nothing but sopping, thick gunk. Time has passed… how much exactly I cannot gauge. It, like me is falling apart and already I can feel the death cries of this planet reverberate through my very being as out side the world begins to tare itself apart in preparation for its re-birth. Even though I stand here, below it all, my concise spreads out from this isolated spot like the water from a toppled glass of water, creeping outwards over some cold, sterile floor, assimilating anything it comes across.

My mind stretches beyond these wall… out beyond the confides of NERV. It passes through these walls, slipping through the tight bundles of atoms that compose them as silent as a ghost. Effortlessly, it floats through the layers of blood red bakelite that clogs the halls with their heavy, solidified mass and the lifeless NERV personnel trapped with in the frozen liquid, suspended like flies in amber. For a moment, I can feel the fear still imprinted on their stone cold minds as the memory of their last moments fade into blank nothing.

Their fear and isolation… it comes into me.

It saddens me greatly. Even those who still breathe are filled with these heavy, dull emotions that override their feverish dread of what is to come. They no longer understand the world around them and for some, that all that is needed to push them over the edge and into that consuming pool of black insanity that waits patiently for us all.

Is this why Ikari will have me do this? Dose he want to free all these souls from the lonely seclusion that bounds them all and yet keeps them apart? Is he also another victim to this affliction of segregation?

And then something else enters my mind, barraging in like some sharp, brilliant explosion.

"Ikari…" The first child. For a moment, my outstretched mind touches his and we connect. His terror invades my thoughts like a torrent of black water and I am submerged, drowning in his torment.

So deep…

So much pain…

My eyes crack open and the link is severed as the familiar setting of central dogma fills my vision, however, that rush of feelings stays with me for a moment, dissipating like some dying echo.

"It appears to have begun…" Before me, the commander looks up, his gaze piercing the dark that hides the impossibly high ceiling as if his vision can cut right through the many miles of earth and fortified metal that lie between us and the surface. "Now Rei, it's time to reunite me with Yui once more…"

The blast of sense has run dry, and for the first time, I can hear the commander's words clearly. They etch themselves into my brain as if they were as sharp as crystal and something in them dose not ring true.

He… he is not doing this for the sake of the people, but rather himself.

And then the floodgate opens and every suspicion that has been lying quietly comes roaring out. All of this, the Evangelion, the war with the angels, even my own creation has all been for the soul benefit of Gendo Ikari. The only reason he warms to me, something that he cannot even bring himself to do to his own flesh and blood is because I was manufactured from the few remains of the only person he could ever love. Did he want to be with her so very badly that he was able to bring himself to reconstructed Yui Ikari in the form of a child?

What does that make me then? Who am I, just a warm ghost with a heart that beats? Am I just another tool in his quest to be with her once more, albeit, one moulded in an attractive shape?

This is so… I realise that now… but is this what I want to be?

…

No.

The commander's eyes go wide as my flesh shifts, clamping down on his submerged wrist and his bear whites flashes behind his glasses as sudden shock pulls the lids back.

"What?" Those eyes, once so cold but now drowning in hysterical panic lock onto my own. I sense his fear at this sudden turn of events. He did not see my rebellion coming as any though of non-conforming on my account did not fit with his carefully laid out schedule to which we have all been running to…

…Up until now, that is.

"I will not be a puppet for you to control." As always, my voice retains it's dull, cool ring even though I have just single headedly turned my world upside down. I watch the hidden lines in his face suddenly twist and deepen as I will my skin to tighten, screwing it around his once probing hand. Like some living blade, it slices through his fleshy tissue and hard bone as if they were nothing more than thin paper. The appendage comes loose, detaching from him as he falls back, hitting the ground screaming and clutching at the suddenly limp sleeve of his jacket. He looks up, past his heaving chest and catches my watching eyes. Through the pain that grits his teeth together he gasps two ragged words.

"Rei… why?"

I feel that hand within me dissipated, dissolving into nothing as my body consumes it, letting it and the creature that lies dormant become one with myself. Now, within in my cells and chromosomes, I hold the key to the end of everything; Adam, the first angel who was awakened fifteen long years ago to bring about an apocalypse and the recreation of man.

But I will not fail unlike those who tried before me. After all, is this not the lone reason that I exist? However, that aside, I will not let this man dictate mankind's fragile future and play god.

"Because I am not like you."

8 8 8

Gendo Ikari sits up, grasping at the abrupt stump just below his elbow. Subconsciously, his fingers silently worry at the smooth lump of skin that's replaced his hand as if their frantic picking will some how coax the severed limb into growing back.

It's probably for the best that his mind can't focus on this, since Ikari would be sourly disappointed. Fortunately, fate has provided him with quite the distraction.

Rei Ayanami, the first child and pilot of Unit 00 stands before him, piercing him with her tinted red eyes as the skin around her own missing limb begins to bubble and twist, moulding itself into something new. Her pale flesh blooms and flares as if something searing hot is boiling away under its thin membrane and it grows, hanging at her side as it reforms back into her lost fore arm.

Gendo can do nothing but blink with dull shock, but then the panic bites into him once again.

"Rei, please!" He shuffles to his feet but it's already too late; the young girl's already turned her back on him and that only answers him with a cold silence. She takes a step but the foot dose not come down again; instead, it leaves the ground all together and takes the other with it as she lifts off into the air. She floats up into the air towards the great, white giant who's watching this all with unseeing eyes and with the passing of each second, Rei silently raises a little closer to the colossal being and further from the pleading wreck of a man she left behind on that polished floor.

"I beg you, please Rei!"

"I can't…" Her muted voice barely reaches Gendo's ears. "Ikari is calling me."

And with that, she stops, so high above the ground and only meters from the vast angel as it limply hangs on the massive cross it's pinned to. A few more seconds tick by, and in them, Rei finds something she never expected to in all her life; a sense of belonging. All those little questions have finally found the answers they were pining for. What may be a ghost of a smile tugs at the corners of her lips as the feeling rushes over her.

"I'm home…"

Even before the minuet echo from her two soft words has died away, the wall of bleach white skin of Lilith's stomach ripples violently, exploding out to leave a yawning hole. The skin moves like thick water, rushing out and closing in on the motionless form of the suspended girl.

She doesn't even flinch as washes over her, dragging her frail body into the angle and so, hungrily engulfs her.


	8. Maya: say you won't care

Yeah, this chapter will eventually be slotted into the right place, i just need to write up those that come before it. I must warn you, this does deal with homosexualltiy so if you're someone who is uncomfortable with that, I would say that the latter part of this perticular chapter isn't for you.

Chapter : Say you won't care

Numbers and impossible figures roll across the laptop's screen in a torrent of jargon that even the best of us would find in-comprehendible. My fingers tread water above the key board but that's about as much as I can do asides watching it all fall apart. I try to swallow but my throat feels as though it's filled with glue as it dawns on me that this is it...

…Third Impact.

Welcome to the end of the world, Miss. Ibuki.

Down below the bridge, all hell's breaking lose. Even from up here, you can hear the frantic shouts of those who haven't been reduced to bullet ridden corpses trying to work out what the hell's going on while their computers go haywire. Before I get a chance to make out what it is they're yelling at each other, Makoto spins in his seat and barks across the room at me and Shigeru. My stomach turns as I see that he looks just as petrified as the N.E.R.V personal down there sound. Heck, I think we all are.

"Anti-AT Field critical limit exceeded!" He frantically jams a worrying hand through his short hair and just like me, he can't do a damn thing but sit back and count the seconds until…until…dear god, I don't even have a clue what's going to happen now. Has it really taken me this long to realize just how out of the loop we've all been kept?

"No!" Shigeru goggles at the man, ripping his eyes away from his own terrifying readings. "If this continues, individual life-forms will be unable to maintain their separate entities!"

Fuyutsuki mutters something behind me but I don't hear a single word of it as Shigeru's cry jams in my ears. My brain freezes up as the reality of his words hit home with enough force to make me want to hurl the contents of my stomach all over the sterile, spotless floor.

We're all going to die…

…Or at least something like it. After months on end of waging war with angles, we've all become used to the idea of death seeing as we've brushed with it more times that I'd like to think about. It's never really scared me though, unlike the sheer volume of blood we've washed our hands in to achieve that all important victory to ensure that Tokyo 3 (and maybe even the rest of the world) lives to see another day. All this time, its been things like the incident with the fourth child and the first test run of the dummy plug system that have kept me up at night…but never ever the fear of death.

I guess it's because we've never had to stare it quite so dead in the face because we've always had the children and those beastly EVA's to hide behind. I hate to admit it, but deep down, we've always know that they'd pull through, swinging us yet another grisly victory and even if they weren't around, there was always Doctor. Akagi. If it wasn't for her almost intimate knowledge of the MAGI system, we would have been utterly wiped out by the eleventh angel, Ireul, who came so very close to blowing us all sky high…

But now, for the very first time, we're on our own. The first child's become something beyond anything I can fathom and I don't even want to think about what SEELE's monsters did to poor Asuka. That was brutal, nobody could ever deserve to be killed… no, they didn't kill her, they _desecrated_ that girl and yet again, all we could do was sitting by and watch helplessly. As for the third child? He's become the implement of our own destruction. He's been to hell and back, and we were the ones snapping the whip at his hide. After all he's seen, it's no wonder that he's chosen to turn his back on us…

That leaves Dr. Akagi… I didn't think I'd get to see her again after they hauled her away into solitary confident. They tried to hush up why she'd been put there, but even in an organization that practically breaths secrets there's the occasional slip of the tongue.

I almost couldn't believe it when the truth finally trickled out. I mean, Dr. Akagi always seemed so calm and in control, one of the most brilliant people I've ever met. Why would someone like that throw it all away by doing something utterly reckless such as destroying their own work, especially if they knew the consciences of it…

It just didn't make sense, but then again, Dr. Akagi had been arm deep in N.E.R.V's more dirty acts for a long time…

I wish she was still here-

_BANG_

I look up in time to see Makoto's uniform go limp as an explosion of orange seeps through it and tumbles onto the floor in a formless mass of liquid. My gut lurches yet again as the hair on the back of my neck goes ridged. The screams bellow our station rise to an all new pitch of naked fear along with the metallic reek of blood….wait, that's not blood…

Its LCL…This place stinks to high heaven of LCL.

That popping comes again and again as down below those who are left follow Makoto's example, but they might as well be reenacting the gun fight with S.E.E.L.E from the sound they make as they dissolve into primordial soup.

"ARRRRRGH!"

There's a scream, but this time only meters away. I jerk up only to see Shigeru frantically scramble underneath his counsel, but before I can say anything, there's a sickening pop. Seconds latter and there's a pool of watery orange slowly seeping across the floor, spreading out from beneath his abandoned computer.

He's gone.

"Professor?" I know by now that orders would be utterly pointless but I don't care. Is it really so wrong to pretend that someone can still take control of this _chaos_?

Fuyutsuki remains silent. I turn around praying that he'll tell me to do something, _anything_, but my eyes land on an empty spot save for the professor's damp and hollow cloths.

He's gone too…they've all gone, leaving me on my own and pretty soon, I'm going to be gone as well. I heave dryly, a hundred and one thoughts racing through my head and each one baying for answers louder than the last. Oh god, what the hell's going to happen to happen to us?

I look back to my laptop but if it knows the answers to all my questions, it's keeping them to itself. Instead, it throws more and more figures at me that read like a horror story, recounting how this isn't just some freak, localized incident, but happening absolutely _everywhere._

"AT Fields... Everyone's AT Fields are disappearing…" I hear myself cry as the numbers roll by, but by now, I'm probably the only person who does. "Is this the answer? Is this what I was searching for?"

There's no one left to offer an answer to me as my question hovers in the empty, stagnant air that tastes of blood.

I feel so sick, sick with that awful smell and the fear.

Oh god, I just want someone to tell me what to do, to give me an order, to say that everything's going to be ok. I've never felt more alone in all my life…I'm so afraid. Look, I can't even control my fingers anymore. They're shaking so violently right now, they may as well have a life of their own.

Someone help me…PLEASE. Oh god, hel-

Unfamiliar warmth spreads across my back as something closes in around me, slipping around my sides and down my arms. My heart jars in my chest and the air tumbles down my throat in an ugly, fearful gasp. Is this it? Is this what all the others felt? Is it my time to go? I brace my self for that final explosion…but it never comes.

I look down as the feeling spreads and feel my eyes go wide as a pair of hands enclose around my own in a soft, warm embrace. Suddenly, my heart doesn't feel as though its about to explode in my chest from the naked fear that's sunk its teeth into me, and for the first time in a long time I feel safe, safe in this hold. Panic ebbs away as I feel those tender fingers lock around my own as if saying 'don't worry; it's going to be ok.' But even without saying these unheard words, they seem to care. Almost at once, I want these hands to rest there forever over my own, silently ensuring me that there's not a thing in the world that should bring me down…

But they move on to the keyboard and for a moment, I'm cold and alone again…though it's nowhere nearly as unbearable as before. I cling to them with my eyes as they leave me to dance across the keys with such elegance that they make typing an art. There's only one person in the world who could tap out words with such effortless grace…

"Dr. Akagi?" I ask the stranger behind me, watching the three simple words that scroll across the screen-

The world stops. I read them again a hundred times in the space of a second.

I-I-I can't believe it… Ritsuko Akagi, head scientist of N.E.R.V and so much more, would think that about me? Me…Why, I'm an inexperienced, bumbling novice compared to her. The work I do doesn't give me the right to even walk in her shadow…

"Maya…" I feel her breath on my neck as those arms draw my ridged body even tighter into the embrace, her touch silently willing me to relax. There's something so…so human and free about the way she holds me, it's so full of feeling and passion...I can't help but let my mind wonder.

Could…could she have possibly have meant those words she scrawled across my computer in a sense that wasn't just professional? Could she really feel that way towards me as a person, rather than just another faceless co-worker?

Don't be stupid. She could never… I'm just letting my imagination slip into a hopeful, shameful fantasy.

I guess that by now, with everything that's happening, there'd be no point in denying that what I feel for her is a little more than respect for one's superior. Oh no, my feelings have long since budded into something unnatural and…unhealthy, something that's just plain wrong in the eyes of most. No matter how hard I'd try to suppress it by sweeping those emotions that didn't belong off into some deep dark corner of my mind and turning my back on them, she'd always toss some trivial, empty complement for a job well done in my direction that would set them spiraling out of control once more.

No matter how hard I'd try to fight, they'd always take me with them.

You wouldn't believe the number of nights I've had where sleep has evaded me, leaving me to fret over what exactly it is I feel for her.

Is it love?

I-I don't know… but I do know that what I feel for her far more than simple admiration. After all, neither Mokoto nor Shigeru ever seemed to jump at the chance to work shift after shift for her with the suicidal enthusiasm I did. Neither of them ever seemed to light up inside quite as brightly as I at even the smallest word of praise Dr. Akagi threw… and above all else, I'm sure that neither of them would salvage each and every one, keeping it close to their heart and praying that it meant more than it did at face value…

It sounds pathetic, doesn't it?

Each time I found myself doing one of these stupid, stupid things, I'd always try to stop myself from diving straight into those feelings and letting them swallow me whole. Time and time again, I'd tell myself how much of an idiot I was for bending backwards at even her tiniest whim for just a grunt of acknowledgement. God, it's like some sort of _addiction_…and it would always tare me up inside to disappoint her.

So, I guess the question that I've been running from crops up yet again.

Maybe it is… each time I let my guard slip enough for those perverse wants and longings to creep in and fiddle with my thoughts, they'll always lingering on things I know they shouldn't, at least, not in anyone with _normal_ interests-

But I always push it away, for no matter how comfortable the bubble of fantasy my intoxicated mind builds around me, it can never, ever be. First of all, in a world with a slowly decreasing population that wanes a little more every year a relationship like _that_ could only lead down a very ugly path paved with hate and disgust, something I could never bring my self to inflict on her…

…Of course, that would be if she accepted me in the first place. Ha, like that would ever happen. Dr. Akagi's not like me, and I'm either too weak or not enough of a fool to try and kid myself into believing that her eyes could ever linger on the likes of I for longer than they should. So what do I do? I stay silent and just do my job, hoping to hear those words of praise that keep my world turning on its axis. It's better that way anyway, I supposed. I'm happy with just being someone she can rely on, and if I ever did pluck up the courage to say anything about the way I feel…well, she'd see me as some sort of sick freak and run a mile. I'd lose her forever, and just the prospect of that is enough to turn me cold…

I think I've just realized why I would never let my mind ride on this train of thought for too long before. The answer to the question I've been hiding from was all too easy to find and I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the revelation.

What would they think of me, no, even worse, what would _she _think of me? Ugh, how could they not see me as a freak…

Wait a minuet…why am I worrying about that? There's no one left to think anything anymore, except for one, lone person, and she just happens to be the one who matters the most…

And right now, she's holding me like I'm the only person in the world.

Something warm melts inside me. Could I let go of that fear for just one moment? Could I allow myself to finally except what it is I felt each time I'd look at her or hear her voice, or am I going to go out knowing I missed the one opportunity I had to express myself.

Her arms draw me in that little bit tighter and I can practically hear them willing me to let go.

Oh, to hell with it.

I let myself curl into her, and suddenly, I'm weeping with shameless joy. Before I can stop myself, I'm crying her name out over and over again.

"Ritsuko!"

She hugs me back and the ache that's been plaguing me lifts from my shoulders, freeing me from its unbearable weight.

"Ritsuko!"

I…I feel so _happy_! It's like there was something missing, a gap in my life into which this moment fits _perfectly_. I don't care what happens now… I've let myself live for once so I'd be happy to die like this, knowing that she accepted me, appreciated me, _loved_ me.

"Ritsuko!"

Maybe now can I tell her those three words that have been clinging to the tip of my tongue since as long as I can remember knowing her but always denied…

"Ritsuko! I-"

8 8 8

There was a soft pop and then N.E.R.V head quarters finally sub came to total silence, the girl's final sentence remaining unfinished. Orange LCL ran down the screen of her lap top and traced lazy lines across the luminous surface, distorting the text as gravity pulled it down. There were however three, short words that still flickered through, as yet un-touched by the liquid.

'_**I need you'**_

But even these eventually disappeared under a trail of LCL.

A/N- well, thanks for taking the time to read this. I've never written something of this nature so I'm sure I still didn't pull this off as well as I could have.


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